Caution: Big Decisions Ahead

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Times are tough. We all know that. In fact, we live in California where the unemployment rate is 10.1%, whereas the national unemployment rate sits at 8.1% the last I’d heard.

South Carolina, Rhode Island, California and Oregon joined Michigan as the states with the five highest unemployment rates. North Dakota, Nebraska, South Dakota and Utah joined Wyoming as the states with the lowest.

We’re doing ok so far though. However, this week (or possibly next) we’ll have to make a very big decision about our future. Luckily, we’re renters and that means we can bail when we need to. I’m really thankful we don’t have a mortgage locking us down.

Jason has a third interview tomorrow, Monday, which will be the deciding factor in whether or not we’ll be staying put, or packing it all up and moving into my grandmother’s house. We’ve been through that once before, and I can assure you this decision isn’t one made lightly. My grandma isn’t living in the house, however my mom and my uncle are. The last thing we want to do is uproot and move into that house, even if it is fairly temporary. But after discussing our options, we’ve come to the conclusion that if he doesn’t get this job, we’re going to have to go. We could stay here, but it seems like we’d likely be delaying the inevitable. This job opportunity is the *only* one he’s had in the 8 weeks he’s been out of work. There’s no “maybe that job will come through” in sight. That means we’re spending the unemployment money month after month on staying here when we could actually be saving it up and using it for other important bills and, you know, a decent stock pile of food. Each time his unemployment check comes, they include how much is left until it runs out. We’ve got a while left to collect, but what if we go through it and there’s still no job? Then we have nothing to pay the car payments, insurance, phone bills etc… What then?

So, we’re there. We’re at the point that if he doesn’t get this job, the only real opportunity we can see, we’re going to have to leave and set up camp where we don’t have to take 95% of the unemployment money and pay the rent. If he had several “maybe’s” out there, we could stick it out, we WOULD stick it out. But when there’s nothing, no nibbles at all, it just doesn’t seem wise to sit on our hands and hope something comes through before the money runs out and we’re completely in trouble.

And so, this week he will go to that job interview, battle against 4 other people who desperately need this job as badly as my husband does, and he’ll fight. He’ll fight for our future. Hopefully he’ll be the victorious one and we can carry on like normal. If he doesn’t come out the other side victorious. we’ll pack our family up, and get the assistance we need to carry on. As long as we have eachother, that’s what really matters to me. The only thing I expect out of my husband when he goes in for this job interview, is to do his best. That’s all he can do, and the rest is up to the company. If he doesn’t make it, that’s ok, we will.

I Wish…

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I haven’t had much blogging inspiration lately. I guess that’s kind of a hard thing to come by when nothing changes. Every day is the same thing. There’s no kissing the husband goodbye in the morning as he’s off to work. There’s no anticipating his arrival after a long day. Every day it’s the same. Wake up. Take care of household chores. Go in the room and see Jason at his desk doing what he can to get a job. Feeling suffocated by the lack of space here a lot of the time. Trying to make Jess understand she can’t be in there bothering her daddy all the time. That’s a hard one that she doesn’t understand. He’s home so why can’t he play with her all day?

Well here’s what’s been on my mind lately. A big ol’ wish list.

I wish someone would hire my super amazing, talented and hardworking husband

I wish I didn’t have to wonder if we’ll be able to make rent next month

I wish I had more food in the house

More than that, I wish we could go to an actual sit down restaurant for dinner.

I wish someone would serve ME for once.

I wish I had a dishwasher.

I just wish things could go back to the way they’re supposed to be. I don’t want my days to be weighed down by worry anymore. Not this financial worry anyway. I’d rather worry about the little things that don’t matter so much. Things like, what should I make for dinner, not how the heck am I going to put something together with what we have because I’m not sure I can afford to get more groceries.

I wish I didn’t feel like I’m going to implode, or burst into tears all the time, or completely go off on my poor unsuspecting family for no reason.

So, here’s to hoping that something good comes along soon and I can go back to complaining about the small insignificant things like where I’m going to go for dinner or which craft items i’ll be buying simply because I can and I want to.