Christmas Eve 2005

Jessalyn at 4 months

Today I bring you the Friday 5 plus 3.  So I guess that would make this the Friday 8, for 1 week only!

1) What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

There’s no simple answer to this since I have a few. The first tradition begins on the first Saturday in December when I get together with the family to prepare our Christmas Eve tamales. Another is getting together with said family on Christmas Eve, scarfing down a boatload of delicious tamales and then the goofy Christmas carol sing along just before we pass out the Christmas gifts, and then of course the gift opening. Another favorite tradition is watching the move White Christmas from 1954. I just love that movie. And another event that is looking to become a tradition is just before Christmas, my girlfriend Kelly comes over and we make food gifts together. Oh and for the second year running, driving out to a neighborhood that really does up their Christmas lights. So fun!

2) A favorite cookie recipe?

Really you can’t go wrong with the Nestle Toll House cookie recipe. A classic and so yummy!

3) Share a story behind a special ornament on your tree.

At least 3/4 of the ornaments on the tree (and still packed away because they didn’t fit) are special. None of them really have a good story that goes with it. But there are a lot of ornaments I used to get every year as a gift from my grandmother. And now, my tree is full of ornaments I’ve been collecting for my 3 children over the years. They’re all special to me because each ornament for my kids represent that year. Most of them have pictures of them so I get to look at them year after year and see how much they’ve grown. If the ornament doesn’t have a picture, I went out of my way to get something that related to the year. One year Caitlin was really into Hello Kitty, so I got her a Hello Kitty ornament. Chris was into Toy Story so he goot a Woody ornament. Jess loves Tigger and so, well you get it.

4) All you want from Santa is….?

A KitchenAid mixer!

5) What’s your favorite Christmas movie and why?

White Christmas without a doubt. Bing Crosby’s voice is amazing, Danny Kaye is hilarious, The music is beautiful, the choreography is incredible, the sets are quaint, the story is sweet. That movie never fails to make my eyes water. I ALWAYS get a tear in my eye at the end when the General walks in and there they are, his regiment from the Army. Oh man, it’s so great. I just LOVE this movie!!!

6) Are you dong anything special for the holidays this year?

No more special than every other year. But it’s all special to me.

7) What’s the best toy you ever got when you were a kid?

I’d have to say it was the year I asked for Barbie clothes. By the time I was finished unwrapping everything, I think I had every outfit on the market for Barbie at the time.

8 ) Why is Christmas special to you?

I love gifting people. There’s just something wonderful about taking a few moments to think about each person on your list, and thoughtfully pick out something they’ll hopefully enjoy. It’s the perfect time to express gratitude for being your friend, family member, spouse, child… And it’s a time when everyone can sit around and share stories and make memories together.

I know not everyone reading this celebrates Christmas, but in our family we do. So I’m going to wish  you a Merry Christmas as well as Happy Holidays!

It’s no big surprise that this is the time of year you’ll see many blog posts about gifts. This is another one. But I have a few thoughts you might not read in your typical gift post. Then again, maybe that’s not true. But, whatever.

I’ll start with a question. Is there someone in your life that’s a terrible gift giver? Maybe they’ve kown you your whole life, or at least a large portion of your life, yet they don’t seem to have a clue about you and the kinds of things you might like to have?

Just picture it, you’re sitting around the Christmas tree exchanging gifts. Everything gets passed out and you all take turns opening your presents. You reach for that beautifully packaged box and open it, only to find a book about gardening and you live in an apartment with no yard? Their reasoning is that you’ve always wanted to have a garden, so I got you this book on gardening.

Or lets say your kids grandmother bought your teenaged daughter one of those little makup sets intended for a 9 year old. Or your son gets a toy drumset intended for a 5 year old and he’s 12.

Let me be clear, neither my kids not I have ever received any of those items as gifts so I’m not being incredibly mean to anyone specifically. However, there might be people like that in my life. People that don’t seem to have a clue when it comes to gifting us. I think I’m pretty easy to buy for on the cheap. Starbucks cards, dinner at a sit-down restaurant, movie tickets, gift cards for craft supplies or makeup or books are always welcome. Bath sets as long as they’re not those horrible ones thrown together for the holidays you find at a store like Walmart. Quality bath salts, bath bombs, bubbles, lotions are always good.

I like to fancy myself a thoughtful giver. Sometimes I’ll buy an item that a person wouldn’t buy for themselves because it’s too expensive. However, it’s not so expensive that it would break the budget to give to someone as a gift. For instance, I have a family member that has always wanted something from a specific company known for its quality and high price tag. However, the piece I bought is going to be useful and it was very reasonably priced to give as a gift. It’s just not something he would buy for himself.

I’m sure there are times I missed the mark as well, and the person thought to themselves, what the hell was she thinking? Why would she ever think this was a good gift for me? Well heck, a few years ago I got Jason socks, underwear and undershirts. I also got him a Marshall MXL 990 as his “real” gift. Those necessities were something he desperately needed, but took a back seat to all the other things we needed to spend money on. It may not have been the most exciting gift ever, but definitely welcomed.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I guess I’m wondering what you do when someone misses the mark on your gift. I’m sure most people would answer, “Smile and say thank you.” Or what if you give something to mom and when she opens it you can just tell you failed. What do you do?

Something I’ve been desperately trying to teach my oldest child is the value of a dollar.

I’ve struggled for years with her even-stevens mentality. Unfortunately my son’s birthday comes before hers and she keeps a mental checklist of just how much cash she got vs. him. She also pays attention to the money we spend on his birthday/Christmas gifts vs. hers.

On Black Friday, I took her shopping for some clothes/shoes for her birthday which would be in addition to the gift she gets on her actual birthday, this Friday. The problem with this is she knows exactly how much those clothes cost. It didn’t matter that everything she picked was marked down by half, but had an original market value of $100. I didn’t spend $100 and so its value isn’t worth $100.

She doesn’t know what else she’ll be getting from us, but in her mind, it had better equal $150 because she also knows just how much Rock Band (her brother’s birthday gift) costs in the stores. Nevermind that she plays the game more than he does, or that as I said, her clothing was originally valued at $100.

At the mall that evening, she was unhappy with me for not just throwing money at her so she could spend like the wind. Her birthday was coming after all! There was much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and general brattiness.

That night at home, the house was quiet, Jason was delivering Caitlin’s friends home, and it was just me and Caitlin. I decided to have a talk with her about money and the value of an item. I threw this out:

Let’s say we spent $500 on your brother. And then your birthday comes and we spend $5 on you. But this $5 item is something you desperately wanted. It was the perfect gift for you because it’s something you honestly wanted. Now let’s say instead we spend $500 on completely useless junk. Wouldn’t you rather have a $5 item that you truly wanted than $500 on something you have no use for? So those clothes that “only” cost $50 were valued at $100. Just because I’m a good bargain hunter doesn’t make it any less desirable.

She thought about that for a while, and seemed to understand what I was talking about. It was sinking in.

Her other birthday gift has a retail value of around $180, but am I spending that? No, because I’m getting a great deal on it. Does that make it worth less simply because I’m not spending the full retail value? No. Of course I don’t plan to announce what it did cost so she’ll never really know how much we spent on her gift.

I don’t know how long she’ll think about our conversation, or if it did any good. I don’t know if she’ll be counting her birthday dollars and have her mental calculation of just how much more or less she got than her brother. I just know I can’t have another blow out over gifts. If we do, that’ll be the end of it. I’m donating her to charity! Ok, maybe not, but maybe I’ll just spend her alloted gift funds on her brother and sister, or maybe I’ll donate the cash to charity. I’ll make a big deal out of it just to show her what a mean mom I can be when necessary.

In case you were wondering, No. No, my son doesn’t have the same mentality. At least not in the open. He doesn’t really care what he gets or how much it was as long as it’s something he finds enjoyable.

Thank goodness for that.

The question “When were you the happiest?” comes from my friend Tom over at http://bubalu.livejournal.com/

There’s a small star shaped spot somewhere in my heart that’s filled with memories of Tom. To this day I can’t go to San Diego without thinking of him, just a bit.

I’ve been mulling over this question since yesterday, and I’m still not any closer to an answer than I was when I first read it. I don’t know that I’m able to look back over the past 34 years and come up with a time that I was “the happiest.”

I could say my wedding day. Pick one, I’ve had two. I could say the day my child came into this world. Pick one, I’ve had three.

Maybe it was the day I graduated high school.

Or how about the day I got my drivers license?

It could have been Christmas morning when I was a child. Or maybe it’s Christmas morning with my own children.

Could it be the day my divorce (after being separated for over 4 years) was finalized and I was finally able to set into motion a plan to spend my life with the man I truly wanted to (and still do by the way) spend the rest of my days with?

Or how about the time I went to San Francisco completely alone and spent a few days with some of the most wonderful people in the city?

It might have been the day that I stopped crying after my grandfather’s passing and embraced the fact that he was finally at peace. He was no longer suffering and in pain.

I just don’t think I can boil it all down and have a single answer to such a complex question. I really don’t know.

I’ve had many, many times in my life when I’ve been completely happy. I guess I should consider myself blessed that I can’t come up with just one time I was the happiest.

However, I’d have to say that the day I married Jason and the 3 days my children came into this world rank up there pretty high.

So Tom, thanks for the brain melting inspiring question.

Lately I’ve been thinking about this space I call my “blog.” But it’s not really much of a blog at this point. WordPress tells me I have 246 posts, but I know there’s not a lot of substance here. It’s mostly a catchall for my Utterli posts.

So then, what do I actually want to do with this space? I guess I want to start blogging for real. The difficult part for me is thinking of things to talk about regularly. I have a livejournal account that I’ve kind of abandoned. There were too many “So today I did x,y,z” posts and to be honest, those are pretty boring. Does anyone really care that I did the dishes, did the laundry and went to the grocery store today? No, I didn’t think so. In fact, I’d drop that blog from my reader in a hot second if any of the blogs I subscribe to posted that stuff.

So if you’re reading this, I’d like to ask for your help. I need a jumping off point. Is there anything you’d like to know about me? Should I give a Jen history so you know where I’m coming from? I can’t even come up with any other questions to ask myself. That means until I get the hang of this, I need your input.

I know there are a few of you reading this and I’m counting on you to help me kick start this thing.